Monday, January 23, 2012

Open My Hands

I've announced this here, but you're going to hear more and more and more about it (if you keep reading):
Our family is adopting.
We feel the call to adopt domestically.
For many communities, adoption is kind of radical, considered only for the super-parents among us.
Well, just for the record, we're not super parents.
But in our community, adoption has become almost normal lately. There are five families in the adoption process right now at our church and others are thinking about joining us.
Most of those families are adopting from Haiti or Uganda or China, so a domestic adoption almost seems tame compared to that!
But all of that is just randomness. What I really want to say today about adoption applies to all of life really.
This past weekend I had a minor breakdown because of the timing issue in adoption. It's soon to never, they say, and that really sent me for a loop this weekend. I was arguing with God, "But I feel called to adoption NOW, Lord."
And I'm not afraid that He's not in control or that He doesn't know what's best or that ultimately He's not a good God.
I'm afraid of the waiting! I'm afraid of the trials we might be called to go through to be sanctified and/or to show others how God comforts us through trial.
I worked myself into a crying mess, really.
And then I was invited to speak about the PRC I work with on Sanctity of Life Sunday at a church just down the road from us. My little talk went well, and guess what (surprise, surprise!) the pastor spoke exactly the words I needed to hear. First there was this song that nearly undid me:

I Asked The Lord
1. I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

2. Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

3. I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

4. Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

5. Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

6. Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

7. "These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."
If you didn't actually read it, please back up and do. John Newton wrote it, 
but I can tell you that I know exactly what he was feeling when he did so!
What the pastor said, and what I really needed to hear, is that we often have 
our own version of the future and when God doesn't go along with that version, 
we get moody, depressed, and yes, even angry with Him.
I have so done that about this adoption.
I have a version of a little four month process that ends happily and easily with a 
successful adoption. And this past weekend I realized that God's version of the 
future might very well be completely different. And after I heard that sermon on
Sunday, I find that I am feeling very called that during this wait,this "soon to never"
wait, my song should not be, "Why, God?" or "Look how beaten down I am
in this sore trial!"
My song should be "O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus" and 
"Open My Hands"
by Sara Groves
I believe in a blessing I don't understand
I’ve seen rain fall on wicked and the just
Rain is no measure of his faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
No good thing from us, no good thing from us


I believe in a peace that flows deeper than pain

That broken find healing in love

Pain is no measure of his faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
No good thing from us, no good thing from us



I will open my hands, will open my heart

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I am nodding my head an emphatic yes
To all that You have for me



I believe in a fountain that will never dry

Though I've thirsted and didn't have enough

Thirst is no measure of his faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
No good thing from us, no good thing from us



I will open my hands, will open my heart

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I am nodding my head an emphatic yes
To all that You have for me

4 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for giving us a peek into your heart and to what God is doing there. Praying for you, friend!

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  2. Such amazing truth all throughout this post. This is an encouragement to me and I have it bookmarked to share with friends in the future who might go through the adoption process. Just an awesome post!

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  3. Congrats on the choice to adopt! *TIME SENSITIVE* Greetings from Kristen Welch (www.wearethatfamily.com) and Jen De Groot. We're compiling the best tips submitted to Works for Me Wednesday into an e-book and would love to include you. Please contact us at thatworks4me (at) gmail (dot) com as soon as possible for more details. Thanks!

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  4. Beautiful on every level. So look forward to hearing more of your pending new family member. What a wonderful family they will have. Such a Monday Making post...thank you for linking up!

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