Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Story of the Relational Truck

When the hubby and I got married, he drove a really old humongous brown car. It was great for holding somewhere around 30 college kids, and the hubby loved it like you love your first dog. But when we received a report that the old car would need thousands of dollars of repair work, we decided it was time to look for the hubby a new vehicle. And the truck dream was born.
I was a young wife and I had no idea what was going on inside his head. In my home growing up, we talked big all the time about things we "wanted" when we knew it was just kind of a game--nothing for real. I took the truck talking like that. Oh, you want the most expensive F-150 there is? Hmm.. that's interesting. Oh, it has to have factory specialized features? Cool.
And when a friend of ours was selling a 1996 F-150 that the hubby kind of liked, I said, "Go for it!" and thought we were done with the truck dream.
Boy, was I wrong. It was only the beginning. He drove that 96 and really liked it, but it literally took me 8 years to realize that THE truck held deep, deep meaning for the hubby. There were some wrong motivations tied up in it, for sure, but there was something there too that was right and true. He wanted to have the truck that would meet everyone's needs. He wanted to be done with vehicle buying for a long, long time if possible. He wanted a truck that reflected personality and strength--fun, innovative, helpful, tough, big enough for the family, new enough to be really fun to drive. You know the one, right? It's quite expensive.
So in the early days, I would really let him have it. I gave him every truth in the book about why he shouldn't have an expensive vehicle. I really could have been a lawyer, folks. I shot him down, I refused to listen when he'd heard of a new innovation to the F-150 and many times we fought long and hard over who was right on this issue. Couldn't he buy a vehicle just for the love of it? Or should practicality always win out? And all the time I was arguing for some greater truth, I was truly missing him (and Him too, I'm sure). I wasn't seeing my hubby's heart, which I'm convinced is what he really wanted all those years.
God woke me up on this subject slowly and over much time. First I realized (about 2 years ago) that I needed to put the decision in the hubby's hands. So I said and meant, "Buy the truck when you think you should." But I still gritted my teeth at times about how it would set us back on debt management, etc. etc.
Then some advice that was given to a friend kind of latched on to this whole discussion in my mind. Every time I would think of the truck, I would hear, "Pray first for your husband's issues--his desires, his dreams." From there it was a short leap to the fact that the truck should come sooner than the hubby thought (he was shooting for the end of this year) AND that it should be a gift from yours truly. An open handed, open hearted gift.
So I actually listened and asked a few questions when he was talking about the one he wanted. I wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget. I called dealerships and located a few maybes.
I planned a getaway to a nearby city to celebrate our tenth anniversary and I told him that the entertainment for our trip was going to also be his anniversary present. He had no idea! (Hee hee!)
And then as we were getting ready to go, the hubby brought me the phone and said, "Listen to this crazy message where some guy is talking about an F-150." AAHHH! One of the guys from a dealership had called! I quickly clicked off the phone and the hubby got pretty upset. It's one of his pet peeves that we have to listen to a message entirely before we can delete it on our messaging system and all he was thinking about having to do that. When he grumped at me, I ran out of the room, and he thought, "Oh, great I've already ruined our weekend!"
When I returned I was holding all my notes about the truck. Happy anniversary, dearest!
His first words were, "I feel like such a cad!"
It took him until we got on the road a ways before he really believed we could buy THE truck that very day. And guess what? We did. He bought the only FX4 Ecoboost in the city we were visiting, and the look on his face was worth every dollar of debt. The look said, "My wife understands me." And that was something worth marking our ten years together with!
So, drum roll please.... here it is, the truck of his dreams...
Has it solved all our problems? No. We've quibbled about the camper shell and the truck bed liner and right now we're quibbling because my phone died and do I need a new old phone or a new new phone, but there is something different going on. This is a stepping off point for all that is to come in our oneness--want an example? The hubby has already asked if he can take the kids to school and pick them up two days a week because he wants this truck to really serve me and our family. Wow. 
You, dear reader (if any of you kept reading this far!) know that motives are never pure, and mine definitely aren't about this--but I really do want to stay hands and heart open. So long live the FX4 and Happy 10th Anniversary, dear beloved!

9 comments:

  1. I cannot say how many times I've thought my husband's heart needed changing (and maybe it did), and I've even been on my knees pleading for it, when really, God was working on mine! :)

    Yours will be a 10th anniversary to remember - that's for sure!

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  2. Every man needs to own the truck of his dreams

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  3. Happy 10th anniversary, Olivia! That is a pretty red Ford! I hope your plans worked out also for celebrating.
    ..
    BTW, I worked for Ford for 17 years and get a pension check of $214 every month.
    ..

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  4. Great story and congrats on you anniversary. These are the moments to remember!

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  5. happy anniversary to you and your hubby; I liked how you came to realize how important it was for him to have the truck and then to help he realize his dream of it; thanks for sharing your story!

    just visiting from 6WS :)

    betty

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  6. What a lovely story, although, I'm still trying to figure out how to get 30 people in one car!

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  7. Following back. Appreciate it.
    Ohio Outdoors

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  8. I am a new follower from the hop. This story was very meaningful to me. thanks for sharing.
    Blessings

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