Monday, January 31, 2011

More Parenting Learning

This week, God sent me a few articles to read (via some great friends) and discuss with pretty much every one I meet. I'm sure I've exhausted the subjects with those I talk with face-to-face, so it's time for me to turn to the trusty old blog to share and discuss.
The first article was that one about Why Chinese Mothers are Superior. There has been a lot of hype over this article, and I'm sure a lot of the criticisms are just, BUT there is a lot in this article that we (Christian parents) can take to heart. Basically this very educated Chinese mom is sharing that Western moms tend to be too lenient with their children. Western mommas justify this by saying that we care about our children's feelings; we are concerned that pushing them to do anything will scar them for life and turn them off to finding out what they truly enjoy. The writer of this article would call this complete bunk. She explained that in order for a child to want to succeed, they must be encouraged (and she would say forcefully encouraged) to make that first success. Then they can be praised, which will lead to the child wanting to continue to succeed. This makes a lot of sense to me. Let's take the boy for instance. He has self esteem issues and these bleed over into his learning to read. Though he knows all the words and can read them just fine if he tries, sometimes he will stumble over a word and immediately give up (sometimes with weeping and gnashing of teeth.) As a mom and a teacher, I can respond with two basic ways. I can say, "It's okay. You're only 5. We'll try it again later." Or I can say, "You CAN do this, buddy, and we will sit here together and learn this!" There are probably times that both ways are correct, but this Chinese Mom's article was pointing out that the second way is very valid and sometimes necessary. Make sense?
The other article that a friend sent over is a fun one that I feel like I could have written myself. My hubby and I have definitely had the exact same exchanges that are described in "Chaotic Blessings" very often! The noise level in our van reaches unheard of decibels and we too wish for that sound-proof glass between us and the kids...sometimes. At other times, we look at each other and grin, knowing without a doubt that we are the most blessed parents in the world.
I couldn't be happier that God is continuing my education on parenting. There is so much to learn and study! I stopped in on a conversation in the hall of my church on Sunday about a daughter's first boyfriend and how to handle that. (!!!) Before having children myself, I felt somewhat confident about parenting during the younger years (funny how I feel so much less so now that I'm doing it!) but I have always been nervous about the teenage years. And then what about adult children?! Anyhow, the happiness and peace comes when I realize that God will bring the lessons as I need them.
This may be a funny verse to use about your children, but it is on my heart and seemed appropriate:
"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deut. 31:6
Happy Parenting!
Linked with Motivate Me Monday and Makes My Monday,

3 comments:

  1. Thank God for articles but I must say I believe everyone parents differently and what works for them is what matters.

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  2. I think that is a WONDERFUL verse for us forging parents!

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  3. I really want to read that first article. I've heard sooooo much about it (lots 'o criticism), but your read of it makes me think she may be on to something!

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