Thursday, August 19, 2010

Ninth Grade

In ninth grade I was finally no longer just a first-year grunt in the marching band. And I guess I was no longer invisible to those in the band who were older than me. On one trip home from an away game a boy who was a year older than me came to sit by me on the bus. He asked a few polite mundane questions and then he very startlingly came out with this, "Would it be futile to pursue a relationship with you?" Poor thing, I am sure he was scared out of his wits, and as soon as I recovered mine, I had some explaining to do.
I carefully and gently explained that I had just begun to realize how important a real relationship with Jesus was (see last week's post) and I just couldn't handle both boys and Jesus at that point. His face fell and he quickly found an excuse to go back to his original seat.
I felt awful to disappoint him and awful that because it was "futile to pursue a relationship" with me, it was also futile for him to even talk to me. Ugh.
Several things make this a very funny memory for me now. The best one is that, one year later, as I received a 10th grade vocabulary list, lo and behold, there were the words "futile" and "pursue"! The boy had, bless his heart, used his vocabulary words in his proposal to me.
The second is that when I shared this story with my hubby, he informed me that it was quite the joke at his high school to hear girls say that "they were dating Jesus." Most boys just took this as, "I don't like you; go away!" I protested that this wasn't at all what I said, and that my intent was a genuine one--I truly wanted to figure out what being a Christian meant before I figured out relationships with guys. He said, "Oh, sure, I bet you wouldn't have dated that guy anyway." He was right. 
Another important outcome of that conversation on the band bus was a blessing in disguise. Over the next two years I had no invitations for dates, absolutely no more "proposals." At the time I either chalked it up to my awkwardness and my disdain for the current styles or didn't think about it at all. In eleventh grade, when a boy finally began to befriend me, he told me that the boy from the bus had let all the other boys know that what I had said, only he had added his own embellishments. He said that I wouldn't date because I was a Christian. So no other boys were brave enough to face that with me, I guess. Ha! Not dating in those younger high school years was a very good thing for me.

This post is in conjunction with a history-recording summer-long party over at Mommy's Piggy Tales. We're writing about one memory from a particular year of our lives each Thursday until September 16. Here is my walk down memory lane so far:
Second Grade: Wendy and Me
Third Grade: I'll Never Cheat Again
Fourth Grade: SURE Thing
Fifth Grade: The Pageants
Sixth Grade: Dynamite Lines
Seventh Grade: The Year That...
Eighth Grade: Relationship with Jesus

Memory lane is definitely a place I love that brings me great joy! 


  1. I can see how the boys would be confused... funny that he used his vocabulary list

  2. I had to break up with a boyfriend b/c our relationship was out of control, not pleasing to the Lord at all, and because he wasn't a believer. After which he told everyone that I broke up with him because God told me to. LOL. Oh well. :)

  3. lol! this is too funny . . . what all the boys must have thought of you! but like you said, probably a blessing. =D and i'm sure your hubby's happy that there are less guys in your past than there could have been. :) i love the pic!

  4. Oh bus you saw on my blog, I stuck with the flags, but there was always something interesting happening among the band members.

    Poor kid...trying so hard to impress you with his 10th grade vocabulary :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  5. Thank you for sharing. I like walking down memory lane too.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog too. I appreciate it. Stop by again anytime.


  6. Ah the drama of BOYS! I actually only ever got asked anything by a boy- my junior year, he asked me to dance at an JROTC dance, and then we 'went out' for a few months, but I had read a book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", and I made it very clear to him that if marriage and kids wasn't something he would consider and with me, then there was no point to dating him! I think I missed the point of the book a little- instead of just not dating, I scared guys away who listened to my little explanation of what I expected and wouldn't dream of being ready for that!! LOL!

  7. Times surely have changed. What a great step you were able to take as a young lady. God surely was at your side.

    In retrospect I now wish I had home schooled my boys (19,17 and 14) the world has had a terrible pull on them - and I fear greatly for the choices they make. Peer pressure and choices are even more challenging than what we had to face.

  8. You, perhaps unknowingly, protected yourself from so much. (Well, God had a hand in it, too) Good for you! Your focus was exactly in the right spot. I hope I can teach my girls (and boys) the same.

  9. If you read my post... I sometimes wish I HADN'T dated boys through high school! :) Good for you for standing up for what you thought was best for yourself (which we all know we don't always choose when we are younger).

  10. So sweet! And eye-opening. :)
    Good for you for following your heart.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story and linking up to Favorite Memories Friday. I plan to swing back by and read your other memories, too.